On Courtesy
Sir Mord Hrutsson the Green (QOC, Baron of the Court)

When I was asked to write an essay on courtesy, I quickly realized that it was a difficult task. For there are those folks who speak the words of courtesy, but are not courteous, and there are those folks who can not speak the words, are none the less courteous. Indeed, my task is to describe with words an action--the practice of courtesy. I do not doubt that I will be misquoted and misunderstood.

As a word courtesy is related to the word court. This relationship explains of the origins of the practice: courtesy is the product of the medieval courts. Unlike our modern court system, the medieval court was overseen by a lord or king and their various functionaries. Such courts were places of commerce, art, and justice. Life and death decisions, business deals, and various performing art were all enacted at court. The medieval courts, in short, were the places of civilization in the Middle Ages. To practice courtesy in the Middle Ages and Renaissance was to strive towards civilization.

Of course to make sweeping generalizations with anything in history is a dangerous business. Scholars and Medieval enthusiasts have argued over the definition of courtesy. Those folks will argue again. To my mind, however, courtesy is made up of four elements:
Honesty
Loyalty
Generosity
Humility

Honesty at its most basic means telling the truth. In the Medieval Courts you declared something--such as swearing fealty--openly in front of witness. For anyone to deny that declaration, that is to say lie they did not swear it, accept it, or witness it is to deny to the process of justice. In these courts, to lie is to ignore the law. Honesty, by the way, can be very painful. The truth can hurt. Lying, however, in the long run, can be even more painful.

Loyalty is the fulfillment of honesty. To follow through on a promised declaration spoken in court is to be loyal. Loyalty is very much a two way street. For a person who made a promise not to follow through on that promise is disloyalty, but for the person who is promised something to not acknowledge or reward the fulfillment of that promise is also disloyalty.

Generosity is not simply sharing what you have with others. Though you should share, generosity lets you deal with people who have failed to keep their promises. People fail for a variety of reasons. Sometimes they are sick or injured; sometimes a natural disaster occurs; sometimes they simply over commit themselves. Generosity lets these people deal with the people in the court with the hope of forgiveness.

Humility is the hardest of these elements to learn. In many ways, without humility, the other three elements of courtesy do not have any meaning. Humility is doing a necessary thing and not expecting any reward for your action. Humility is knowing what you do and then simply doing it.

Even those who are considered courteous are not always that way. Yet the practice of courtesy is the action which makes our Society work. Without courtesy our work loses its meaning in empty actions.